Monica Yates, feminine/masculine embodiment coach and podcast host of Feminine as F*ck, runs a business helping people from all walks of life get into their magnetic feminine energy, feel safe letting men lead, heal their cycle, and be free of the trauma and energetic blocks that hold them back from living their dream life. She has been featured in Vogue, Glamour, Men’s Health, and more.
Yates recently spoke with YoungUpstarts and shared her insights on personal development.
Describe your background, how it led you to create your life coaching business, Monica Yates Health, and how you came to dive into the topic of feminine/masculine energy.
I grew up in Australia in what would be seen as an idyllic childhood — my parents are still together, there was always food on the table, and I went to good schools. So naturally, I thought I didn’t have any trauma.
I didn’t realize that getting into bad situations with boys, binge-drinking, and hating my body wasn’t normal. It was the way in which I felt validated by men, which later resulted in me hating men.
This is an important part of my journey as my hate towards the masculine showed up in my hustling, burnout, horrendously painful and heavy periods, missing periods, and toxic relationships. But because I didn’t have any MASSIVE traumas (or so I thought), I never thought to look at it.
My period went missing after coming off the pill back in 2015 and I dove head first into understanding my cycle after realizing a missing period was not a blessing — it became a host of health/hormonal issues for me.
I got my period back four weeks after beginning a new relationship, despite trying all the herbs possible for MONTHS prior. So, I became obsessed with looking beyond just the surface of food and supplements for healing your period, and found the world of femininity/masculinity. Changing my diet and supplements got rid of my heavy periods and pain, but it wasn’t bringing my period back after the pill… so I knew I had to look deeper.
My awful relationship with my femininity meant that I shunned the most feminine part of myself, and I became a cold masculine woman because I thought that’s what “cool” and successful women do. But my boyfriend at the time woke me up to the fact that a masculine man is not turned on by a masculine woman.
Plus, I’ve always been obsessed with helping people, giving advice (when asked of course), and understanding health and psychology, so when I found out that coaching existed back in 2016 I knew this was going to be my thing. The idea of seeing patients clinically for nutrition or psychology didn’t feel like it would really change someone’s life… so I made up my own thing. I started my bachelor’s and certification, and started heavily researching everything to do with physical, emotional, and mental health.
What keeps women from embracing their femininity?
There are a few key things.
Number one: they don’t feel safe to be feminine. This often comes from a bad relationship with men.
Two: we live in a world where hustle culture and embodying “Miss Independent” and the “cool girl” archetypes are idolized. As a result, women follow in those footsteps thinking that they will be more successful, get more respect, or be happier if they’re receiving external levels of success. This then puts them heavily into their masculine energy because they’re going against their hormonal needs — slowing down more, resting more, and not being in such a stressful environment (men’s hormones are completely different and allow them to handle stressful environments for longer).
Three: It’s a lot of social conditioning. Overactive feminism has basically meant that women feel like they’re being “unmodern” or unempowered if they want to be a stay-at-home mom (for example) and embody what’s seen as stereotypically feminine.
How does the feminine/masculine dichotomy play out in the professional world? Can you share an example from your own experience?
The dichotomy exists because women think that the only way to be successful is to be hyper-masculine. But at the same time they deeply want (especially in their relationship) to be led and taken care of. And they don’t want to have to make all the decisions.
And so there’s these two polar opposite things that women feel like they can’t have, as they feel the two can’t exist in harmony.
For myself, before I was embodying feminine leadership, I definitely wore burnout as a badge of honor. And I thought it showed that I was successful — that burnout showed I was working hard enough.
And whilst I really enjoyed working and I still enjoy working… at the same time, all I wanted to do was relax for a whole day and have a man protecting me, rather than me having to protect myself all the time.
What’s the repercussion of off-kilter masculine/feminine dynamics for men?
Men lose their sense of purpose and they really don’t feel like they know where they’re providing, especially in relationships these days because women are very much, “I can do it all myself”. It really makes men feel like they don’t have a place, they’re not needed, and they’re not important anymore.
Additionally, there’s been this “lazy man” archetype that’s really come through in the last few years, which is a result of women doing everything themselves and not trusting men. And so men have learned that they can be lazy because, “she’s gonna do it all herself” and she’s gonna be the man.
It results in men that are in this wounded masculine of being a boy and not a man, essentially.
And it doesn’t actually bring them any happiness. Maybe they have the illusion of happiness because they don’t have to think as much… but ultimately, when a man is on-purpose, and protecting and providing, he feels like he’s achieving and he feels like he’s fulfilling his role as a man in the family or in society.
So, when we see these men that are not upholding healthy masculinity it really shows that they have completely lost touch with how good it feels to be a man and to show women that he is a safe place for them to put their trust in.
Tell us what it means to be a “period whisperer”?
So basically, since the start of this business, I’ve had this incredible gift of being able to get women’s periods back. Every single client that has come to me missing a period and wanting to get it back has gotten it back, and I call myself a period whisper because in the beginning, it really just felt like magic.
Now I can tie it to all the trauma healing and feminine embodiment we do in our work.
But still, to this day, it’s incredible to me how I get these women’s periods back after years of having no period and every doctor giving them no hope — and then they come to me and it comes back.
Why is it important for women to align their lives according to their cycles?
Because it creates longevity, sustainability, and a sense of connection to your body.
It feels like you’re not working against yourself. It feels like you’re not trying to compete with a man, and it feels like full acceptance of your own limits.
And in the end, you actually end up getting just as much done (if not more!) because you haven’t burnt yourself out. You’re doing it in a way that is supporting your body.
What is next on the Monica Yates Health agenda?
So much! I have my LA pop-up event this October, and my long-awaited book is launching at the beginning of next year, which is really exciting.
I’m also celebrating my dream wedding in 2024! So many big and exciting things are in the works, it feels incredible.
